sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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