She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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