It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She needs sedatives and a leash
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
