Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
