She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
