I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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