I have demons in me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
