I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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