I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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