fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
