Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
