I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
