i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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