Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
