I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
