Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
