and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
