You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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