If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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