Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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