She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
