My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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