splinters make it hard to masturbate
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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