New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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