So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
