at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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