I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
