bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
