Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Text me some of your sweat
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
