i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
