Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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