I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
