Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
