I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
