Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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