Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
