So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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