I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I want a musical about memes.
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