worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I currently don't understand fingers.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
