it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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