never play flip cup with pint glasses
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
