Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
