farters have to be the big spoon...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
