my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
