wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
