he wants to bone in the snuggie
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
