i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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