i think i have herpe
just one?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
