Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
