Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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