listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
