I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
