im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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