never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
