She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
