Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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