i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
