I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I smell like Dick and happiness
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
