I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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