It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
