You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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