So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
