Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
