you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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