he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
