i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
