Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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