in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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