This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize