I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
