her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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