Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
