Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
