New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
