Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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